For most of my life, I have second-guessed myself, stood back to observe, avoided anything that might expose my lack of skills/knowledge/intelligence. I have taken the back seat, fumbled for words when asked to speak my mind, and generally been afraid of failing. Since 2013, I have been deeply asking what my true purpose here on this planet is–what am I called to do and what can I stand behind? I have been asking this question all of my life, but after a major illness and the reflection that followed, the question changed to be more like what can I contribute to the planet? How can I make a difference with my offerings? I had no answer for these questions, and found my mind of doubt saying “you’ve got nothing unique to offer.” I worked with that thought, followed the opportunities that were offered to deepen my spiritual practice and connection to Earth. I listened and listened. Nothing came clearly, but neither did major failings happen. Each time I followed the path that was right in front of me, it was good. My classes were nourishing and felt good. People learned things and felt supported. And I continued to try to grasp onto something that would stick–the THING I was supposed to be doing. There was lots of disappointment and fear that I would not ever find my way. Nothing seemed easy, but I did the things that felt like they were right and true for me.
Then, after over a year of uncomfortable listening and meandering, the universe (my guides and helping spirits?) spoke to me directly and clearly and told me what to do. There it was laid out in front of me rather neatly. “Do this” is what the energy felt like. No questions of self-worth or fear of not being good enough to do this leapt up in front of me. No–this was an earnest gift that said “the time is right: offer this.” The THIS is scary and definitely makes me look around and say “really? me? you sure?” But it just keeps flowing–the ideas, the way to do it, the excitement and joy in feeling all of the practices that have been key for me align into one offering of a six-month journey with a group of other people looking for ways to feel connected, whole and grounded in their open-hearted being in the world. Some of the practices are grounded in herbalism, but others are centered on direct experience of the world, mindfulness and awareness practice, connecting to earth energy, working with helping spirits and listening to plants. While I don’t have the full announcement ready to go, I am exceedingly excited to offer a preview of the details!
Walk Your Edge: A Six-Month Journey to Heart-Centered Connection
One Saturday per month May – October, 2015 (dates announced soon!) meeting in Portland Maine
$600: sliding scale work-trade and time dollars are options; payment plan available.
Many of us have been working for years to make big changes in our hearts and minds and in the larger society. As our systems of racism, sexism, homo-and trans-phobia, xenophobia and the destruction of our home the Earth are exposed and visible to us all of the time, it may feel like our work is simply too big. We may feel that we cannot make a difference, or we may find ourselves filled with rage and fear. Whatever our reactions to these difficult times, it is clear that we need to tap into the larger support system that exists in the universe. By calling on the Earth herself, our spirit guides and ancestors, and the plants who live on the planet with us, we can find a deep healing force that will sustain us and connect us as we open our hearts to heal the big wounds that keep us separate. We will explore a variety of practices to tap into these sources of support and build trust in our own deepest knowing.
If you’d like to know more about this program, or to join my mailing list, please contact me or stay tuned for the full announcement soon.