Chronic illness and desire

I’ll be honest–I’ve been thinking a lot about sex lately…what I want, how I wish it were easier to come by, and mostly how it’s been a long time. It feels like I have been waiting forever to find the kind of pleasure I’m looking for, but the truth is that illness has been my…

And so we begin again

This time last year, I was beginning a week-long meditation retreat.  As I look back at that time, I can see the rapid decline of my health that was to come shortly thereafter.  The space of that retreat also mirrored the space that was soon to come to fruition in my life.  In that retreat,…

HUMIRA, or, my choiceless choice

I sat in the nurse practitioner’s office knowing that the results of my colonscopy were not going to be good.  I had been vaguely conscious toward the end of the procedure, and heard the doctor comment that he wanted her to see these results, that the inflammation was bad.  I didn’t remember much of this…

In the Retelling: Healing through Story

I notice myself telling the story again and again: “I was really sick this summer.  I lost 20 pounds in about a week.”  I don’t say it to be dramatic.  I am not looking for some kind of pity or even sympathy.  After hearing this come out of my mouth over and over, and being…